Living in the Past – sharing

Okay my last post about taking on Challenge for Living in the Past, I mentioned I would not share anything as most things can be deeply personal. But there is one thing out of a closet of Pink PostIt® notes, that I’m going to deep dive into and share with you.

When I was about 9 years old, my child-hood friend Kristi, lived just behind my house. We spent tons of time between each other’s houses playing and hanging out. My friend had a fantastically decorated room. Filled with strobe lights that gave off blue and red colors for those days where disco was still ruled by Diana Ross and Cher. And a small disco ball hanging from the bedroom’s ceiling reflecting those cool sparkles around the room. Enough to make you dizzy as we danced and sang to our favorite songs. We both had the usual Barbie dolls and clothing and nick-nacks that go with such toys.

So my memory of ‘past’ experiences that shaped me, and this one has that PostIt® on it. I distinctly remembered the pink plastic bed for Barbie was the only furniture I had. But Kristi had many items for Barbie to recline on, sleep on and tables built for her dolls. Needless to say, our time together was always fun with music, singing, and playtime.

I unfortunately coveted my friend’s only mini wicker chair that made Barbie look like a queen among all other dolls when sitting in it. I remember I was envious and wanted one just like it. But it was not meant to be had. I even asked Mom, if I could have one too. But this was not something sold in stores. Oh well, right?

As a child, we are still learning right from wrong. We sometimes endure painful reminders should we do any bad thing and get disciplined. I did one thing due to envy. I stole my best friend’s little wicker chair one day playing at her house. When I left that day, my Barbies were stuffed into appropriate Barbie cases and so was the chair. When I got home I was so excited for Barbie to have a lovely chair to sit on. Something that I did not have. I remember playing with Barbie the next day and Mom comes in with laundry and noticed that I was playing but something was amiss. The little wicker chair was very noticeable. And I was busted! As my friend, Kristi was not hanging out in my room and my Mom knew my stuff very well, having the singular parental duty of helping me put things away. And the fact that I had asked recently about finding such a chair… Well as you can imagine that was difficult to explain. But I had taken the chair, my friend Kristi had not loaned it to me.

So, knowing that I had been busted and Mom’s stern look and definite pointing to the said item, not mine. I learned that making Mom unhappy was one thing, but the thought that I may have made my best friend unhappy at losing their toy was unbearable.

As soon as I was presentable to go over to Kristi’s house I only took the chair, no toys and Mom was in tow behind me to be sure that I did the right thing. I returned the chair to my friend’s house. I knocked on the door and with the learned ‘I’m sorry I took your toy.” statement on my lips I passed the coveted wicker chair to my friend. I was marched home and still not out of deep water. I was grounded from going to play for 1 week at Kristi’s house. My Mom definitely had let Kristi’s Mom know that I was grounded too.

Needless to say, this was painful as a recapped memory. It’s sometimes the weirdest things we remember. I definitely remember it and learned from it well, for I’ve stayed out of trouble since. I release this memory to the sun-light, and it may be faded now but more so in knowing I forgive myself for being a child doing a childhood thing.

P.S. I remember fondly the fun times that ensued after my grounding was over. My best friend Kristi was not mad at me. She and I remained friends until her family moved away a few years later.  And as luck would have it, I did get to see her again in high-school. She reprised this story when we saw each other, we hugged and graduated together.

~Healing in bits and pieces

Nims

 

The Challenge 1

Recently I posted “Fear of the Unknown”. This was a topic I started months ago and only recently posted. As April is a “spring cleaning” month, I looked at myself and noted that I needed help for things that only another could assist me with. In a metaphysical world there are many kinds of help. Energy healing, Reiki healing, Meditations, Life Coaching and more. There is literally something for everyone, without having to rely on medication to get us to change, accepting that we have the power to change without that. That is the route that I am going.
“What I’m sharing is not to sway by words or actions, to convert or pressure anyone into trying alternate methods. If you need help, start with the Medical establishment and go from there. I am very much aware of what I need and know that the establishment is not what I need at this time.”

Sometimes we have blockages and sometimes those blockages make themselves known. Bad habits, thoughts, etc. that have become so rooted in our physical and habitual bodies that we need outside help from others that can get us moving in the right direction. (I promise I’m not being deliberately ambiguous, but when you feel “off” that is a hard thing to describe.) So applying the old adage of “Mind over Matter” pretext, I’m trying to shape and change some deeply rooted issues.
“How you say?”

I took time out and look at myself energetically. From my aura so to speak. I sought out a metaphysical service provider to help me with energy blockages. To feel better in my soon to be “Future Self”! Bragging? Hardly, I just know that as a creature of habit that I am the only one to take those steps towards energy health. My Mom can nag me [insert chuckles] but I have to be the one that changes. I also took on a challenge that came my way. More on that in a sec.

So the changes that I am embarking on have centered around my chakras. Now, not all my chakras as getting the preferential treatment, just the ones that seem to be the worse off. Due to neglect, you say? Absolutely not, just too long going and going and putting off the inevitable check up until you have to dig in and say, “Stop!”. And the first one that is being looked at is the Root Chakra. There is lots of information regarding the Chakras and the root one is the one that for many takes a beating. If your interested there is a link that will give you some info here. (I’m not endorsing this link, just one that you can go and check out for more info.)

I’ve received information back regarding the healing that I requested and it even comes with homework. (Ugh) Yes, homework. I have some deep diving that needs to be done so that I can complete the work that was started by my lovely friend over at Earth-Energy Medicine. So once I start into that and complete that part, I hope to share some insights on that. But to get to the reason behind this post, “The Challenge”.

Challenge 1

Humans by and large are competitive. And challenges, well I decided “Go for it.”. Since I was putting “me” first for a change. It revolved around another post that my friend made on her Facebook page. Random helpful posts where “you” are taking the initiative to go forth and do the change. “Just Do It” as Nike’s slogan has been for years. Now I need to work it out.

Okay – here you go!

Well not all 5 at once! That would be messy and insurmountable. But one or two should be easy right? A mind over matter, kind of thing? I have been living, breathing and labouring under all the above “directives”. Each one feels like a job, something that was a part of me on a day-in and day-out basis.

As I read each one separately I realized each is destructive. Each one in a studious light looked like “nasty habits” that I have been living with. My friend directed take one of the above and take bites out of it. Change it, kick this nasty habit to the curb. “Which one was the worst offender in my cabinet of habits?” All the above are sneaky and insidious but “Which One?” was the big kahuna of offenders?

My choice was #4 “Putting yourself down“. It is the one that I felt, was the worst in the list. A proficient killer to confidence and assurance in this world. So what did I reason out that it was doing to me that it became “numero uno” in the list?

• It holds me back, by downplaying my importance in the grand scheme of my journey.
• I tone down my importance in other’s lives.
• I even “talk down” to myself that what I am and what I do is of no importance to others of my tribe, by family and even my closest friends.
• The worst thing is? I allowed myself to believe it.

So my journey begins. I am not sure how to start this “change” in myself. All I know that I have a blank journal that screams my name, begging for me to write down whatever comes to mind. I hope that soon I’ll be able to share some of the options, or shall I hope for clever quips?

Well if your in for the ride, welcome.

Cheers! To your health.