Author Archives: nimslake

About nimslake

Little time to write but love feircely in what I do even if it's a hobby. Random thoughts, observations or more posted. My tagline really sums up what my posts are about..."it's a thought process".

Challenge 2

Well I’m back to Challenges and still think that the time or time between challenges is not going to be clinically 2 or 3 weeks. I believe that everyone deals differently in how to tackle, and work on challenges regardless of how they come up and how they eventually get executed.

Okay for previous Challenge 1 – came from my previous post and was all about busting habits we get ourselves into. Habits that can be detrimental to our everyday productivity and mental well being. I took on #4 Putting Yourself Down.

Well, after about 2 weeks I was catching myself internalizing the words and nipping the down-play quickly. In the 3-4 weeks zone I found myself more accepting of my ability to be truthful and uplift myself even if I fail at a project or fail to understand “How To” documents or other. (I am having issues with first time read-throughs and have to tackle it again. Reading and comprehending has always been something that I have to work on. And I love to read!! Imagine that!) Then at the 5-6 weeks time frame I noticed I didn’t have to catch myself, I found myself more confident and assure of myself. Now in the 7-8 weeks I know that the act of “Putting Yourself Down” has been trampled soundly in my mind.

So I’m ready for Challenge number #2, so I’m back at the same drawing board which one of the habits do I need to kick? I decided to do #2 Fearing Change. I feel it goes hand in hand with #4 and since I’m on a roll I decided to put this one on the playboard.  So for those of you wondering about the list, for brevity:  [1-Trying to Please Everyone, 2- Fearing Change, 3- Living in the Past, 4- Putting Yourself Down and 5- Overthinking].

So everyone has issues and things that they know they need to change and stall out on. Stalling, procrastination, delaying…whatever you want to call it. Call yourself out on it! (PS – my word I use all the time? “Procrastination”) Okay so with my big word out in the open, what does it have to do with “Fearing Change”? Everything, it has to do with everything that I am afraid of. Writing, losing weight, doing a good at my current workplace and even getting my dreams into reality!

Yes! Dreams those lovely things that we visit in our heads, those inner wishes that we build into mega towns or cities and we are Queens & Kings of that world. Who are you? CEO of  businesses, Independent writer, Entrepreneur extraordinaire, you name it and you dream it! Can you do the things necessary to make that change come into being? Can you step by step tackle that nasty bugger “Fear” and change those dreams into reality? How badly do you want it and what are you willing to work on to get it into the birthing canal to come into this world?

Okay, so I found out that tackling niche research, finding polls, asking questions of friends, looking into writing genres, reading, “Googling” topics and blogs and other sites I ran across to find out the little things that I need to make things work my way. I need to take classes. I need to read more. I need to work with a mentor. I need to produce things that are in my line of business that I need to be that CEO or that Independant or Entrepreneur. But fear of not being good? Well i’m finding out if you never try and you don’t pull that dream out of your head you will never get any indication of change. You will never have any progress to measure yourself or your success.

I’m not looking for notoriety, I’m looking to be successful at being productive. I’m happy that I’ve realized change is not harmful, but only the next step to learning something new. I’m productive at this time and that’s more than I was years ago when I started this blog. So I need to continue to write and need to continue this challenge, one at a time. Change is getting a new car, fear of not pulling a dream out of the clouds? Well I have no excuse, I only fail if I do nothing. I just need to complete things and not fear the outcome.

Right! Onward and upward. To all of you who find themselves in the same boat, I toss you ‘life-vest’ to join me and others on this quest.

Remember, don’t fear those who judge, for you are your own worst enemy. (IMHO:  I’ve been taking a lot of deep breaths and then continue on. Or I shelve the item and pick up something else that can be worked on until I can go back. It works!! Trust me, I’m doing it.)

Nims

Aside: (“Challenge #2 – watch me blow the doors off of you!”)

 

 

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The Challenge 1

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Recently I posted “Fear of the Unknown”. This was a topic I started months ago and only recently posted. As April is a “spring cleaning” month, I looked at myself and noted that I needed help for things that only another could assist me with. In a metaphysical world there are many kinds of help. Energy healing, Reiki healing, Meditations, Life Coaching and more. There is literally something for everyone, without having to rely on medication to get us to change, accepting that we have the power to change without that. That is the route that I am going.
“What I’m sharing is not to sway by words or actions, to convert or pressure anyone into trying alternate methods. If you need help, start with the Medical establishment and go from there. I am very much aware of what I need and know that the establishment is not what I need at this time.”

Sometimes we have blockages and sometimes those blockages make themselves known. Bad habits, thoughts, etc. that have become so rooted in our physical and habitual bodies that we need outside help from others that can get us moving in the right direction. (I promise I’m not being deliberately ambiguous, but when you feel “off” that is a hard thing to describe.) So applying the old adage of “Mind over Matter” pretext, I’m trying to shape and change some deeply rooted issues.
“How you say?”

I took time out and look at myself energetically. From my aura so to speak. I sought out a metaphysical service provider to help me with energy blockages. To feel better in my soon to be “Future Self”! Bragging? Hardly, I just know that as a creature of habit that I am the only one to take those steps towards energy health. My Mom can nag me [insert chuckles] but I have to be the one that changes. I also took on a challenge that came my way. More on that in a sec.

So the changes that I am embarking on have centered around my chakras. Now, not all my chakras as getting the preferential treatment, just the ones that seem to be the worse off. Due to neglect, you say? Absolutely not, just too long going and going and putting off the inevitable check up until you have to dig in and say, “Stop!”. And the first one that is being looked at is the Root Chakra. There is lots of information regarding the Chakras and the root one is the one that for many takes a beating. If your interested there is a link that will give you some info here. (I’m not endorsing this link, just one that you can go and check out for more info.)

I’ve received information back regarding the healing that I requested and it even comes with homework. (Ugh) Yes, homework. I have some deep diving that needs to be done so that I can complete the work that was started by my lovely friend over at Earth-Energy Medicine. So once I start into that and complete that part, I hope to share some insights on that. But to get to the reason behind this post, “The Challenge”.

Challenge 1

Humans by and large are competitive. And challenges, well I decided “Go for it.”. Since I was putting “me” first for a change. It revolved around another post that my friend made on her Facebook page. Random helpful posts where “you” are taking the initiative to go forth and do the change. “Just Do It” as Nike’s slogan has been for years. Now I need to work it out.

Okay – here you go!

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Well not all 5 at once! That would be messy and insurmountable. But one or two should be easy right? A mind over matter, kind of thing? I have been living, breathing and labouring under all the above “directives”. Each one feels like a job, something that was a part of me on a day-in and day-out basis.

As I read each one separately I realized each is destructive. Each one in a studious light looked like “nasty habits” that I have been living with. My friend directed take one of the above and take bites out of it. Change it, kick this nasty habit to the curb. “Which one was the worst offender in my cabinet of habits?” All the above are sneaky and insidious but “Which One?” was the big kahuna of offenders?

My choice was #4Putting yourself down“. It is the one that I felt, was the worst in the list. A proficient killer to confidence and assurance in this world. So what did I reason out that it was doing to me that it became “numero uno” in the list?

  • It holds me back, by downplaying my importance in the grand scheme of my journey.
  • I tone down my importance in other’s lives.
  • I even “talk down” to myself that what I am and what I do is of no importance to others of my tribe, by family and even my closest friends.
  • The worst thing is? I allowed myself to believe it.

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So my journey begins. I am not sure how to start this “change” in myself. All I know that I have a blank journal that screams my name, begging for me to write down whatever comes to mind. I hope that soon I’ll be able to share some of the options, or shall I hope for clever quips?

Well if your in for the ride, welcome.

Cheers! To your health.

Fear of the Unknown

Some of this is is rumination and some may seem rhetorical. I consider the below just my observations and opinions from my side of the window.

Image result for Fear pictureOkay “fear” that ugly 4-letter word. “Fear of the Unknown”. It is one of those icky things we have facing us on a daily basis. Well all I can say is that I’m getting tired of trying to forget it, acknowledge it and talk my way through it.

Weekly I check in on Facebook and try to keep up with my friends. I’m seeing a trend of sickness, “fear” of losing the job, or “fear” of not getting a job and a cringing kind of “gird-the-loins” version of courage that remind me of the Lion from “The Wizard of Oz”. (Don’t misjudge, I love the Lion!)

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I scratch my head at times perplexed, wondering what has happened. Why this sudden constant stream of the above issues? I see the trend but can’t conceive of what is at the root of so many things going awry. Some physical responses, of course is just common sense, such as getting sick is just that. We catch the germs and “Boom”, laid low for a while.

Watching and reading I’m seeing it (Fear) become the body’s reaction to too many stressors. So my opinion the root cause? “Fear” has stepped in and stolen the keys to our house. It has slithered in to stay and cause all manner of upset. Whether it’s small or large is irrelevant, it’s become an unwelcome house guest.

I’ve imagined myself sitting in front of “it” and grabbing it by the throat and giving it a good throttle. At other times, I shrink and feel myself flatting myself to stay low out of it’s sight. That ugly 4-letter word has gripped it’s bird-like claws into so many, I’m overwhelmed at how many are suffering. And at the manner in which that suffering has played out on them.

Image result for change fearAll I can think of is that I need to continue to shield by physical body with good habits. Sleep being the hardest one and the one I am most tardy at keeping in my schedule. Meditate to help relax and prepare my mind to be relaxed and refreshed. If needed, finding those skilled in coaching or energy sessions or other disciplines. Remember that even those who help others, need help from many diverse areas of Health Care (for lack of better words) for the Holistic, Scientific and Medical fields and those I may not have mentioned.

Here is where my “Fear of the Unknown” stops. Changes ahead, one step at a time.

…Change, she is coming….

Part I: So How’s Unemployment Treating You?

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I resonated with this topic. I wanted to share the positive response to what could be a tricky question among friends and family members in similar situations. Angela analyzed and then answered from a position of strength and acknowledgement…read on. 😀

Confront the Poison

The phone was softly chiming. I rolled over in bed and saw the caller ID on my phone showed ‘Colleen’. Swiped up on the face of the phone and said softly, “Colleen, glad you called. I needed an alarm.”

“Peggy, what’s wrong?” Colleen said. “You sound absolutely exhausted!”

“I am.” A soft chuckle escaped. “I’ve been up over 24 hours; there was a Sweat Lodge ceremony Friday night.” I slowly angled myself up out bed and swung my legs to the floor.

“It was beautiful, Colleen, absolutely beautiful. Come out next time.” Colleen was asking if she needed to call back in a bit. “Yes, call me back in a bit. Got to make some coffee and wake up.”

“Right, will do!” Colleen replied and hung up. I headed into the kitchen, heard a few creaks and pops in my joints. My long hair was a tangled mess around my shoulders and down my back. Gently I raked my fingers through it to get if off my face. A few minutes later I was leaning against the kitchen counter and listened to the hiss from the coffee maker. I replayed Friday night’s Sweat Lodge opening and my time at as Fire tender. How could I tell Colleen about my confrontation with Jay? It would seem like I was complaining, (and I don’t complain about anything as a general rule. Life is what it is.)

Flash back to Friday evening . . .

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I was already at the Sweat Lodge and working over the outside fire. Large rounded stones were already placed alongside the fire that would be passed to the Sweat Lodge’s fire pit once they were needed. The first group was already inside the Lodge and getting comfortable.

“Ho, Peggy!” called Joe Wannamaker, one of the attendees for the first round. “You joining us in this Sweat?”

“Joe!” I greeted the big bear of a man with a beaming smile, “No, not this time. I’m your Fire tender tonight.” Joe was standing just outside of the flap covering the door into the Lodge. “Hey, Jay will be coming tonight. He’s driving up and should have been here already.”

“Oh? Funny you mention it. I didn’t see him with you, so I thought he wasn’t coming. I was thinking it’d be a nice evening for a change.” Joe did not dance around topics; he was a ‘straight-shooter’.

“Yeah, I told him if he wanted to come he had to drive himself.” I checked myself from saying anything else.

Joe continued, “Yeah, well, he was not very nice last time he was here. Jody had to nudge him to be quiet. You never know who is receiving spirit. It’s rude to blurt out random comments disturbing everyone.”

He turned to go duck into the Lodge, I thought I heard him say “Jay’s coming.” before the flap of the Lodge closed behind him. I heaved a sigh. Ducked my head a bit and reminded myself to say something to Jay about being quiet during a sweat. Just then a vehicle pulled up and stopped. I turned and saw Jay alight from his small white truck.

Jay was a 6 foot tall man, and lanky, about 65 years old with shoulder length shaggy white hair pulled back into a pony-tail. He was dressed in grey cotton shorts and a teal colored shirt and leather sandals. (He has a loud voice that booms when he talks and greets. No matter he’s inside or outside.

Sweat Lodge ceremonies are very spiritual and even approaching a Lodge that has not officially started their first Sweat it is to be approached with respect.) In those few moments I ruminated on Joe’s comments. I’d known Jay for almost 2 years now and still marveled at how disrespectful he was in approaching all spiritual events that he had attended so far.

“Jay, keep your voice down. Show respect. You’re late and should have been here 30 minutes ago.” I spoke in a calm and quiet voice.

“Peggy! I’m always respectful and I’m not late.” His voice boomed. “I don’t need you telling me nothing about how this works.” His face went from jovial to anger very quickly. Downturned lips and lines appeared on his forehead as he got right up to me.

“Jay, lower your voice. I’ve told you many times about this, and to be here early for this kind of event, or you’ll be denied access until the next round.”

“You can’t keep me from going in and doing this sweat!” His face was ugly and almost pressed right into mine. I could feel his breathe warm on my forehead. Jay is taller than me by a full foot.

I glared back at him and strengthened my resolve. “I can and I will. You will respect the office of Fire Tender and the people who were here on time.” I pointed to a log next to the fire, “You will sit with me by the fire. Show me you can meditate to ground and center. I’ll let you know if you’re ready to go into the next sweat.”

I pulled my shoulders back and leaned a bit away from Jay, showing him that I was not to be walked all over as I had allowed to happen in earlier events. I had caved in before so I would not have to deal with his moods; but now I needed to put an end to his disrespectful manners, out of respect to the others that were here on time and for their spiritual journey.

Jay’s face was almost slack jawed with surprise, but he did go sit on the log I had pointed out, although he made a big show of being put out with his huffy breaths as I watched him from across the fire. Joe poked his head out and gave a ‘thumbs-up’ to me and ducked back inside. Jay did not see as his back was to the lodge.

#

I sipped my coffee and pushed off from the kitchen counter heading into my office down the hall and was already editing how much of the confrontation I would share with Colleen when she called back later. I didn’t want to frighten her off from coming to future sweats. I needed to get Jay in line with things and do it quick. But that would require another cup of coffee.

 

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Thanks for reading!

Nims

End of the Year

As I enter the end of this year, Ups & Downs of 2017, I realize that I have lots to be thankful for. Friends, a home, a job and determination. Yes, determination has cropped up in my vocabulary! (chuckles) I find that this year of multiple weather disasters has not put many people down but instead, more determined to be prepared, more mentally resilient and in some cases embrace a more “laid-back” attitude to Mother Nature and her ..uh-huh Tantrums.

I learned a lesson in letting go, one that the Universe has tried to nudge me into doing on my own. But because I ignored the prompts, hints and all that includes she, yes Universe is a “she”, for me she took the reigns and decided that I’d lose some personal items that I valued very high in my life over others. And decided to have me “lose” them. Learning from that has been the eye-opener that I needed to  understand that having a “death-clutch” on things does me no good and makes my view of this world and my place in it a narrow point of view.

I have called myself front and center and owned that I needed that “kick in the pants” but am humbled by how forgiving the Universe has been once it realizes that I have acknowledged the lesson and gives me a gentle pat on the shoulder and nudges me forward for my greater good.  What is that “greater good” she has promises you say? Well, it’s a loaded list and I’ll send you crazy with all the little things, so only a few items will I share.

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Foremost, I have realized that I may have thought I had my path outlined for me regarding writing (obviously not) hence I would not be writing what I am. [Yes, I am my own worst enemy and overly critical. So I nod my head to the ‘analytical Gemini’ in me.] So I have “gently pinned” a sticky note to my front conscious to be nice but be steady in my promises. Remember what I can and cannot keep due to deadlines, work and other responsibilities. Secondly that great task master “Time Management”! Ha! I have learned that the Calendar app in my phone is not my enemy but my greatest assistant!

So I go right-foot forward into 2018 with brighter eyes, grace and newer perspective on what I need to do to achieve those elusive goals I’ve been putting out there for years. Throwing out the list of new goals and embracing the old ones that mean the most to me and trimming that too long “To Do List” once and all. I promise to not be my “own worst enemy”, be kind when I slip and to remember once in a while to see around and not just what’s in front of me.

I wish all my friends that you find that lovely balance and stick to it as best you can. May 2018 be a gentler and wonderful year for you and your endeavours.

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Many Blessings and Happy New Year!

See you next year!

Nims