The Ideas

Living in the Past – sharing

Okay my last post about taking on Challenge for Living in the Past, I mentioned I would not share anything as most things can be deeply personal. But there is one thing out of a closet of Pink PostIt® notes, that I’m going to deep dive into and share with you.

When I was about 9 years old, my child-hood friend Kristi, lived just behind my house. We spent tons of time between each other’s houses playing and hanging out. My friend had a fantastically decorated room. Filled with strobe lights that gave off blue and red colors for those days where disco was still ruled by Diana Ross and Cher. And a small disco ball hanging from the bedroom’s ceiling reflecting those cool sparkles around the room. Enough to make you dizzy as we danced and sang to our favorite songs. We both had the usual Barbie dolls and clothing and nick-nacks that go with such toys.

So my memory of ‘past’ experiences that shaped me, and this one has that PostIt® on it. I distinctly remembered the pink plastic bed for Barbie was the only furniture I had. But Kristi had many items for Barbie to recline on, sleep on and tables built for her dolls. Needless to say, our time together was always fun with music, singing, and playtime.

I unfortunately coveted my friend’s only mini wicker chair that made Barbie look like a queen among all other dolls when sitting in it. I remember I was envious and wanted one just like it. But it was not meant to be had. I even asked Mom, if I could have one too. But this was not something sold in stores. Oh well, right?

As a child, we are still learning right from wrong. We sometimes endure painful reminders should we do any bad thing and get disciplined. I did one thing due to envy. I stole my best friend’s little wicker chair one day playing at her house. When I left that day, my Barbies were stuffed into appropriate Barbie cases and so was the chair. When I got home I was so excited for Barbie to have a lovely chair to sit on. Something that I did not have. I remember playing with Barbie the next day and Mom comes in with laundry and noticed that I was playing but something was amiss. The little wicker chair was very noticeable. And I was busted! As my friend, Kristi was not hanging out in my room and my Mom knew my stuff very well, having the singular parental duty of helping me put things away. And the fact that I had asked recently about finding such a chair… Well as you can imagine that was difficult to explain. But I had taken the chair, my friend Kristi had not loaned it to me.

So, knowing that I had been busted and Mom’s stern look and definite pointing to the said item, not mine. I learned that making Mom unhappy was one thing, but the thought that I may have made my best friend unhappy at losing their toy was unbearable.

As soon as I was presentable to go over to Kristi’s house I only took the chair, no toys and Mom was in tow behind me to be sure that I did the right thing. I returned the chair to my friend’s house. I knocked on the door and with the learned ‘I’m sorry I took your toy.” statement on my lips I passed the coveted wicker chair to my friend. I was marched home and still not out of deep water. I was grounded from going to play for 1 week at Kristi’s house. My Mom definitely had let Kristi’s Mom know that I was grounded too.

Needless to say, this was painful as a recapped memory. It’s sometimes the weirdest things we remember. I definitely remember it and learned from it well, for I’ve stayed out of trouble since. I release this memory to the sun-light, and it may be faded now but more so in knowing I forgive myself for being a child doing a childhood thing.

P.S. I remember fondly the fun times that ensued after my grounding was over. My best friend Kristi was not mad at me. She and I remained friends until her family moved away a few years later.  And as luck would have it, I did get to see her again in high-school. She reprised this story when we saw each other, we hugged and graduated together.

~Healing in bits and pieces

Nims

 

9 thoughts on “Living in the Past – sharing”

  1. Wow, sometimes those childhood confessions are the hardest to announce to the world. Good on you for giving it wings!

  2. Man, the world of Barbie was enticing! Right? I remember my Barbie townhouse with the elevator as if it was yesterday. Painful memory for you, but so glad your mom steered you right. Too many parents don’t do that anymore.

    1. Hi Kristine!
      I don’t know how I missed your reply! But thank you for posting. 🙂
      Yes, thanks to Mom I learned a lot! And now am thankful for all the nuances life brings in sharing moving forward.
      Nims

  3. Oh, wow. What a soul-bearing story. It took courage to return that chair. I had a Barbie story too that involved me trading some inexpensive things for more expensive ones that a younger friend had. Her mother made sure this was rectified and I felt ashamed for having been so wily. Some of these stories stay with us for life.

    The most poignant one for me — and something I often think about with an aching heart — was the time a new little girl arrived in our class of 9 year olds. We all had fancy dolls and clothes for them but she was an Army child and only had paper dolls and paper clothes for them. She begged us to play with her, especially begging me. I did not have the social confidence to break ranks and play with her. I regretted it after that and when she had moved away with her family and I still wish I could tell her how wrong I was, how sorry I am for being so weak and how much I wish I could hug her and make it right. I still tear up, thinking about it.

    1. Hi Beth, first of thank you for sharing.

      Speaking about that story is brave and beautiful. 💜Thank you💜

      All you can do is ask forgiveness for a time that is past. That is now in your control. Request that the Universe deliver those wishes of healing you speak about from that time and recognize the healing love for the girl and yourself for both your hearts 💕.
      Many blessing in healing my friend.

    1. Hi Yeka! Thank you. This is a long process, unearthing the things that shape us. How your love unearths new awareness…and how Shadow Work will help me heal. 💜💜😍 Keep posting the ‘Love’. I look forward to your posts.
      Be well, and many new blessings to you and Family in 2020!! 🎇

      1. I’m with you on that Nims! ❤️ I’ve been through a lot too ….. taking it all one day at a time …. one step at a time….. so blessed to know a beautiful kindred spirit who appreciates my heart in all its colors. Love to you as always! And may your 2020 be likewise filled with Blessings!!! 💜💜😘

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