Okay, so if you’re following along and my previous post was Challenge #1- Pleasing Everyone. At the end of that post, I had to challenges left to decide on. I was going to take time to think about which one to tackle next. Well, both have to be dealt with and I finally decided to just pick one.
Out of the 5 on the list, I’ve worked through or am still working I know I just need to move forward, evolve and change. I have decided to work on point #3 Living In The Past.
The picture above is idyllic, right? Evokes images of lazy days, slower times, and maybe a picture-perfect vacation that was taken? All of this is ‘past’ history. But sometimes we have stuff in our past that keeps impinging on our present and can affect our future.
So, memories can be the catalyst to stop our forward momentum. Yes, we use them to remember things, stories, anecdotes to tell friends and family and then, there are the memories that are linked to a time and place that we’d rather forget. Those are the ones that stop us from moving forward, growing, exploring and being a “better you”. Everyone is different, everyone has experienced something that has changed us in small and large ways. Some of those ‘things’ are just that. Incidents that we can look back on and analyze it to see what can we do to overcome. Yet, it causes us to hold back. That’s why it’s a trigger for stopping us from moving forward. So how does one analyze our past to allow the future to unfold?
Hefty words indeed. We all agree, our past shapes us and drives us. But sometimes, we have things that cause us to live in the past, pressing the ‘rewind’ button one more time. No amount of self-help topics, books or analysis may help us. I’m not saying that it won’t, but sometimes if we admit it, there are items in our closets that just defy us ‘letting it go’. Right? Now, I’m only speaking for myself and a challenge is just a challenge so you think. But as I take this challenge on, well what harm can come of it? For me, I lose nothing. Going into the past to challenge me, is going to be a tough adversary. There are so many things that hold me back. But I need to find, not the easy stuff to deal and accept that I can either change or whatever. I need to find the hard stuff. The ones that cause you to flinch, shield the eyes and ver ‘hard-left’ from dealing with it.
What are those difficult moments in time, that cause me to flinch, shield and swerve ‘hard-left’? Deep diving, requires time an empty notepad and lots of searching. What will I come up with that I can review and see if I can let it go? Many of you will see alignment or a nod coming forth when I mention things like; alcoholism, abuse, relationship issues yours or from your parents and friends around you, stealing, maybe others. Those things that are locked up tight in our memory chests.
What can I find and deal with? Shine the sun on it and watch the memory become so washed out that its impact is lessened. So when its hold is loosened and I can then rejoice in the fact it will cause less pain. Thereby releasing me from being held back, hiding in shame, making decisions that are based on the layers of uncomfortable situations that make me? The inner-child is wounded and is still not allowed to heal. What can I find, shine strong sun-light on and fade that picture that is always found so easily in the murky past memorial line-up. Like its flagged with a bright neon PostIt® tag. Holding a spot in the eerie lineup of memories?
I don’t know that anyone would be interested in the unveiling…I think that is something private for many. Old wounds exposed back to the air is like rubbing salt in the wound is far from cathartic. I’ll tell my notepad the secrets, unveil them and shine that wonderful sun-light down on each page. The inner-child is wounded and needs to heal. Don’t you think we all have one?
Be back soon. My notepad awaits, wish me good luck and best wishes. See you all soon.
~Healing in bits and pieces.