My hands were gripping the steering wheel but my thumb was hitting the wheel double time. The car in front of me was totally getting my goat. Rolled right up to the stop sign but didn’t even stop. Just rolled right through. Locally called a ‘rolling stop’.
“Idiot! Don’t you know that someone could have been walking or biking! No-oh! Just oblivious.” My turn at the stop sign and I stop and look both directions. Not just for cars but for pedestrians and bicyclists before turning right to go home.
And then my brain just went and asked myself, “Why are you so wound up about this driver?” And still in my mind responded, “Because you walk and ride a bike, so your extra aware of your environment.” So I realize that I have to let it go because I’m not going to win that fight. It’s just something to remember when I’m out and about. I huff out a great big sigh.
I signal and turn into my complex and pull in to my numbered parking slot. I lean back in my seat and just let out another sigh. Reach out and put the car in park and take the keys. It’s been a long day. Getting home made me realize that I was just stressed and just ranting at the offending car was my way to release some steam. Did I feel better? I didn’t feel like it but maybe getting out of the stupid high heels and changing into comfy clothes would change my point of view. Walking up split flight of stairs to the front door with key at the ready to unlock it, took a moment to take another full breathe before going inside. I noticed before going in, that there was no breeze and it was quite cloudy. So maybe it would rain later to get rid of the summer humidity that was making my work clothes stick uncomfortably to me.
Dumped my purse and keys on the entryway table to my left and kicked my heels off just underneath it. A blissful sigh of relief escaped my lips as toes stretched and my arches relaxed out. I glared with a half grin at my discarded shoes. They were gorgeous but a killer on the feet for eight hours!
I kept thinking back on my frustration and wonder why I’m so upset of a person rolling through a stop sign. It’s not even that time of the month when my emotions get me all out of joint. And this has been happening a lot lately.
I put on the kettle for a soothing cup of tea. So while I waited for the water to heat, I went into my room to change into comfy clothes. I walked over to the side table and pulled my journal out.
I had written down the events that have been happening lately. Trying to find a pattern to this crazy ranting. But for the last two months it was the same thing. Triggers from being frustrated with not just the drivers but stupid riders and pedestrians that are just as oblivious about being careful when crossing busy intersections. But then there are the days where I’ve been shopping and while in line how the employees behind the counters are rude and mostly non-communicative while I pay up. Sometimes even being ignored while they have full blown conversations with other co-workers. It frustrates me to no end on how prevalent the lack of training and ignoring customer service.
Again flipping through my entries and still no theme other than outside triggers making me crazy. I can’t figure out what is going on. If this keeps up will have to check my calendar and go to a doctor to check me out. Find out if something is happening that I just don’t understand. The distant whine of the kettle is getting louder letting me know the water is ready. So I sigh and close the journal for now. Some Rooibos tea would smooth my day out.